Brain Wave #11: Where do you think we're going?

Brain Wave #11: Where do you think we're going?

It's because of the fact that I worried too much about the judgement of others, that I don't think that I've been able to move forward as much as I wanted.

Holy shit, now you got philosophical AND sentimental me...hold onto your seats in case you decide to keep reading.

Don't get me wrong, I'm judge people just like everyone else out there does, don't deny it: as humans we're afraid of anything that is different to ourselves, which I think it's something automatic in the back of our minds, correct me if I'm wrong, but I know there something going on along those lines. But this has affects our perception of other people as well, again don't get me wrong overtime as we get to know somebody we are able to build trust and stuff, some more than others but that's just depending on the type of person you are (psst the answer is unique for everyone, don't let some pre-sets define who you are) but I don't think that our self-conscious minds are ever able to depend on other people's opinions and schools of thought COMPLETELY that is. Unless it's a Stockholm theory scenario type shit, but that's a different, unrelated, way too sensitive for me to touch on topic. What I'm trying to get to is that no matter how nice of a person, or how neutral we think we are, there is no way for anyone to be completely non-judgemental towards anyone, at the end of the day it's similar to what I talked about previously: what we think is moral or objective is decided by another judgemental selfish human being, for which we believe the word is right because other people gave them the power and trust to make up some rules, that to the universe are just fake and worthless. 

And it's just because we are aware of this universal judgement of everyone onto everyone else that we are influenced by other people's opinions. That is on ourselves as well. It's because of this judgement (I know I'm being repetitive, go fuck yourself, trynna make a point here) that we tend to compare each other on values that are again made up by our own minds, based on our intuition and comparison on how one follows our pre-set morals and rules that we made up in order to hence judge people based on our own prospective and experiences, to then come up with an opinion on that person and how to let them affect our lives. All of this could be absolute nonsense for you, I get it, what I'm trying to say is just that everything that has build our modern society is mostly based on human judgement and we interact with ourselves based on that very judgement, which then develops everything else, just like selfishness which I talked about in my last entry (not plugging, I swear lmao).

On a personal level, and this of course again depends on person to person, I feel like I'm letting my life depend too much on other people's opinions. I mean from what I just talked about it seems like it is the same for everyone, and it is pretty much inevitable as that's how we work. But I feel like that acknowledging all this makes you really feel disgusted in a way, makes you think like you should escape from this cycle of making decisions based on other's thinking to then wanting a feedback from that same thinking. But, as I already mentioned I think that it is kind of inevitable, I mean how would we ever go on with our lives without others' feedback? It would be kind of selfish not to consider others (see? I did it again hehe). I feel like, many people when they think about something like this, they're too focused on getting out of it, but do not realise that it's not that easy. At the end of the day society is kind of based on opinions and thoughts of others ON others. So what would be the way to keep going on forward without considering people's opinions? Again, what the fuck would I know? I'm not here to give answers lol, but seriously I think that people, just like me, are getting too fed up into thinking that they care too much of what others think of them, when it is all just completely natural. Don't go out there thinking that you should just act on your own, because everything you know roots from others' thoughts and opinions anyway. So to sort of answer the question, if we acknowledge that we shouldn't be too selfish, and acknowledge that feedback and judgement is natural for everyone, then we shouldn't worry too much about "depending" on people judging us, as we do the same and that's basically just how it goes.

Phew, this wasn't an easy one, I don't think I made it as clear as I wanted, but listen I tried my best and that's all that matters :)

Good bai for now, poposwag