Brain Wave #6: Post Ichiko Aoba concert

 Brain Wave #6: Post Ichiko Aoba concert

Well I went to see Japanese singer Ichiko Aoba and here are some of the things that went through my mind during this experience. Being the weird ass person that I am as soon as I joined the quite long queue to enter the venue, my brain straight connected to the last sequence in the movie "All about Lily Chou-Chou" where the main characters of the movie proceed to go to the concert of this Japanese singer with heavenly melodies, a deep meaning behind her lyrics, and of course a dedicated fandom behind everything. Being a Lilyholic myself, I don't see Ichiko with the same "fictional" eyes I see Lily: I was only startled by the situation I find myself in, similar to the one in the movie.

Conformism: one of the things I most struggle in life is trying to "fit in" with my surroundings, I find myself quite capable of "adapt" to the social situations I find myself in, but never able to become what surrounds me, almost convinced that it is the right way for me to be accepted by given surroundings. While I do not incite to any social differentiation and "discrimination" of each "type of person" out there in the world, I did however felt like I was out of place. Way in which I have felt other times, but in different ways, not the topic for today for sure. But I almost felt that the presence of people who were unlike me feel like I was the only different person in there, that everyone else was part of a group in which I wasn't. Of fucking course what I'm saying probably I wasn't the only person feeling that way in the 2000 Ichiko fans in the venue, but I'm just talking about my personal experience instead of trying to put all the fucking attention on me, in case I needed to explicitly bring that point home. But just like in the movie: that situation felt like it wasn't right, like the conformism behind the concept of being an Ichiko Aoba fan had went a bit to far, given how many people were dresses a certain way, acted a certain way, and so on. But again, I am not here to discriminate against anything, rather there was a great diversity in terms of human beings in that venue, however it felt like most people were given certain rules to be viewed as an Ichiko fan. Regardless of everything, I feel like making part of your personality something that you like from a certain fandom or category isn't at all healthy, but at the same time I feel like this concept is way too stretched out to the point where being a fan of something means following a certain dogma. Anyway, because I was there with my friends who aren't as big fans of the singer as I am, I still managed to enjoy the concert with them, without having to worry about not being something like a Lilyholic.

But of course, again to emphasise that I am not discriminating against any lifestyle choice, everyone decides who to represent themselves as given their point of view in life, it all reconnects to the very first post in this blog; everyone lives their lives differently, so it might as well be my social insecure ass or my own choice of not following any conformities that makes me believe that I'm different. Because let's talk about it, everybody is different, so there isn't really a reason for me to blame my feeling of not "fitting in" just because many people are fans of a certain singer and they decided to take similar decisions in the lifestyle. I don't really know how else to say this, I'm not following conformities, but at the end of the day it's all relative. Again, just like in the movie, where "different" people had different takes to the music of Lily, but this didn't make them realise how people's point of view differs, but made them think that their school of thought was just wrong, or once again following a certain conformism.

Following, this also makes me realise something that I am not sure that I touched on the very first post. It's only the realisation of yourself and your own choices that makes you feel like being different is not going to affect in the slightest. Extrinsically yes, as humans we all are afraid of anything different and we just want to be socially accepted and not be "left out" by those who think the same way that we do. Intrinsically however no, only when truly self conscious one realises that their own persona will always differ to anything else out there: we are only aware of differences between others and us when comparing each other on the same ground, the reason why I felt different to the rest of the Ichiko fans, who to me all felt the same, is solely because I could not compare myself enough to similarity to everyone else. Without realising that I can never be like anyone else though, as my own self will always be unique.

I'm very much aware of the fact that I've just used a lot of words, big or small they are, and it's a lot to assimilate; most likely I'm not even the right person to be telling you this stuff, there's professionals out there, also these are just non sensical thoughts lmao. But the most important thing I want to say is that achieving and understanding this level of self consciousness isn't an easy task (I definitely haven't achieved as much myself) but the responsibility that it takes to: not go insane, use this knowledge to your own benefit, and to understand how yourself and other people interact in society, is terrific. I feel like there is no other bigger responsibility than the one of self consciousness, at the end of the day you're only living your own life (could've phrased this much better, but in simple terms you get what I mean) so it is only up to you to decide what to do with such responsibility (I like this word, am not using synonyms lol).

Finally, on a completely different fucking note: isn't it crazy that we idolise people? And I'm not even saying this in a biblical way, nor I meant to use that word exactly, more like isn't it crazy that there is people out there who are "famous"? What's insane to me is the fact that around 2000 people tonight paid to see another human being just like them, who has used their skill in music to showcase it to people. Just like in the movie, where people can literally lose their minds to something another person has done because they're good at it, as if it's something beyond the capability of humans. However, Lily just being another person is an idea that never resonates with any of the fans, which clearly shows signs of idolisation. What I find fascinating is the fact that it's just another person out of 8 billion out there, just the fact that they're really good at doing something and that they've had the opportunity to make it public, made it possible that people will gather to see them do what they're good at. I'm not saying that going seeing famous people is stupid, or anything along the lines of "they're not special they shouldn't be idolised" no, I'm just saying that I find it rather fascinating that us human beings are capable of that: capable of showing their best skill and having lots of people watching them. I don't know, another point that reconnects to the very first post, just still appalled that there's cool people out there.

I know, I know, quite long entry today, and not gonna lie it would've been yet longer if I wasn't about to collapse in my bed as I always am when writing these things, and writing it tomorrow will make me forget lots of stuff in my mind, even to the most minute detail, because I very well known what to write while I was walking back home. I very much thank my friends for tagging along with me for that concert, and everyone reading this!

Good bai for now, poposwag